PND VS Exhaustion

Car crash dreams

I remember telling my husband that I wasn’t “in my right mind” when we were in the thick of it with lack of sleep with the twins. I also remember considering that it could be a good idea to deliberately run my car off the road, just to get a break from it all, even if that came at the cost of a hospital stay. Any rest would do.

My personal experience was quite confusing as my health visitor concluded I was suffering PND and immediately referred me to my doctor for relevant medication.

When I spoke to my doctor, he disagreed about the signs of PND and insisted that I didn’t need medication as my diagnosis was chronic exhaustion. The health visitor also referred me to a mental health nurse. I am still haven’t heard from her!

Same Same

It is worrying to think that because there is a fine line between the symptoms of PND and the effects of exhaustion that they can be easily confused. A health visitor might well be a qualified professional who can assist with a variety of concerns, but their training in terms of sleep advice is limited.

So, when, like me, a new mum is faced with a situation where she is absolutely wiped out from the intense love, care and attention a new baby requires, along with frequent feeds during the night which impacts sleep for at least the first 4 months… and you turn to your health visitor for help and support…. And they can’t give you anything except a PND diagnosis, because THAT they can do… it’s really pretty awful.

 

 

 

The facts

Let’s have a look at the differences/similarities and see where the confusion arises.

PND

The main symptoms include:

• a persistent feeling of sadness and low mood
• loss of interest in the world around you and no longer enjoying things that used to give you pleasure
• lack of energy and feeling tired all the time
• trouble sleeping at night and feeling sleepy during the day
• feeling that you’re unable to look after your baby
• problems concentrating and making decisions
• loss of appetite or an increased appetite (comfort eating)
• feeling agitated, irritable or very apathetic (you “can’t be bothered”)
• feelings of guilt, hopelessness and self-blame
• difficulty bonding with your baby with a feeling of indifference and no sense of enjoyment in their company
• frightening thoughts – for example, about hurting your baby; these can be scary, but they’re very rarely acted upon
• thinking about suicide and self-harm

 

Exhaustion

Emotional signs of mental exhaustion may include:

• depression
• anxiety
• cynicism or pessimism
• apathy (feeling of not caring)
• detachment
• anger
• feelings of hopelessness
• feeling of dread
• lack of motivation
• decline in productivity
• difficulty concentrating

 

Physical signs of mental exhaustion may include:

• headaches
• upset stomach
• body aches
• chronic fatigue
• changes in appetite
• insomnia
• weight gain or weight loss
• increased illness, such as colds and flu

 

Your mental exhaustion can cause you to behave in ways that are out of character for you. Behavioral signs may include:

• poor performance at work
• social withdrawal or isolation
• inability to keep personal or work commitments
• calling in sick to work or school more often

 

 

 

I personally find it difficult to identify much difference between the two.

I experienced all of these except the concerns relating to bonding. I knew that I felt completed besotted with my boys from the second they were pulled from my belly. I felt full of love for them, but there was a constant takeover with frustration that it felt like I didn’t know how to respond to their needs and that something wasn’t right.

I was exhausted. I hadn’t slept properly in the months leading up to delivering the boys as it was impossible to get comfortable for any period of time. Finn was breach and pushing on my ribs and Scott was pushing on my bladder. I had a planned section but lost so much blood I was borderline for a transfusion and was really unwell for hours after the op. The boys were born at 12.17pm and 12.20pm on 14^th Feb 2017 and I held them for the first time at 7pm that evening. I was discharged from the hospital after 2 days and had little support at home. Then my husband buggered off back to work 2 weeks later and left me to my own devices with 2 tiny human beings to look after! It’s scary stuff !!!! No wonder I was wiped out !

Post Natal Depression is a serious condition, which can affect mother’s for a long time. It would be a huge concern if a mother has been diagnosed with PND AND their child isn’t sleeping for a variety of reasons, then that’s double the pressure and an unsustainable situation right there.

When I finally got the help I had actually needed, and I had the light bulb moment that the doctor was in fact right not to give me medication and that I never had PND at any stage of my crash landing into parenting 2 tiny babies. When things had finally turned around for us as a family, the boys sleep was a success, I was gaining confidence and was less anxious by the day… I was able to ENJOY being a parent to my children for the first time since they were born.

It wasn’t survival!

It wasn’t challenging and tiring!

It was a complete joy to spend the days with these fascinating tiny little people who were doing new things all the time and I came into my own. Without wishing to be boastful… I am bossing being a twin mama right now! That’s how powerful you can feel with regular, guaranteed sleep for you and for your children.

I have gone from being a nervous wreck, scared to leave the house with 2 babies who just cried the majority of the time because they were either exhausted and refusing to sleep, or they had woken up too early and weren’t ready to be awake, or because they were overtired and I had missed their wakeful window. I had NO IDEA that my lack of knowledge would have such an impact on my ability to parent, to exist, and most importantly, to meet their sleep needs!

Post Natal Depression has since been removed from my medical notes as this was a misdiagnosis.

I often think about all of the mum’s who are experiencing exactly the same situation …

Hopefully they will get in touch one day and learn that it IS possible to be a well slept family, with all the right information, knowledge and confidence!

DO NOT suffer or tolerate sleep deprivation… be informed, prepared and ready for successful sleep!

I would love to help if this sounds like a familiar story – please get in touch for your free initial no obligation consultation call – Click Here!

Fairy Sleep Mother x